Tuesday, December 2, 2008

a healthy balance

Today i've been frustrated because my school and work responsibilities suddenly overlap, and it results in negatively impacting both environments because i have to choose between them. All semester long, i have had class tuesday nights and morning class on wednesdays, which happens to be the only available times for my monthly work meetings. Thus, i have missed the majority of work meetings for the past couple months, and i have finally been issued a warning. I am often late for work on Wednesdays because my class ends as my shift begins, and I often have to leave early after overnights, due to having class right away in the mornings. Not only that, but tomorrow i have to attend a mandatory CPR training for REM, which directly interferes with my morning class which has strict attendance policies, not to mention that it is the week before finals, when i am receiving valuable information in my classes. Work and school have always remained at the top of my list of priorities, but which do i choose when i have to weigh them against one another? Most say "school is more important!" but that has further reaching implications, those being a negative work environment, employers who feel that i am unreliable, and further down the road the possibility of poor references. Sometimes i decide that missing one day of class has lesser impact than one day of work, but that is the kind of attitude that builds upon itself until school is put on the back burner.
In an ideal world, i could immerse myself completely in my schoolwork, without dealing with the daily frustrations that are offered financially, mentally, physically and otherwise. I can only imagine that the quality of my work would improve tantamount.
But i carry on, and keep calm when i am able. It's a balancing act, juggling not only a full schedule at school, but a full time job, a weekly cleaning position, teaching at Bridges, my sanity, my health, and my responsibilities as a roommate, a granddaughter, a friend, and whatever other role surfaces for me to fulfill. When i think back though, i've successfully maintained a fast pased lifestyle for most of my life. This realization gives me confidence in my capabilities, and even makes me feel a little proud of myself.
There is another kind of balance- a kind that grants a person flexibility to take time for themselves when they need to, to be less productive at times, to feel down and unmotivated occasionally. This balance occurs when said person has worked hard to earn themselves a reputation for their commitment and integrity. At times, a person can rest in the shade of their reputations while they recooperate before beginning another long haul.


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